All About Faith

Fun-ny days

2006-06-01T09:09:00.000-07:00

Before I was even a mom, I knew I'd love being one but I didn't think I'd really have this much fun! It's like summer vacation every day that I'm at home. My day is filled playing peek-a-boos, tags, catch-ball (or Faith's version of it), tickles, giggles, read-me's. Even changing diapers become a game for us as I sing "Wheels on the bus" or "Itsy-bitsy spiders" and she would kick, clap or sing-along (at least that's what it sounds like). She loves looking in the mirror or a reflection in the shiny faucet and making faces or blowing raspberries and laughing at me for making outrageous funny faces that I wouldn't even dare doing in front of hubby-love. And I'm having the time of my life that I have this "power" to make one person laugh so hard, over and over as I make that face for the nth time.
Mealtimes too are just moments for memories. Now that she's learning to feed herself with her fingers and the spoon, she loves scooping her food up - be it cheerios, peas or carrots - making a gesture to feed it to me and then quickly putting it into her mouth. And she thinks that's really funny. And when I feed her something that she likes, she does this thing where she wiggles her tiny body and giggles.

Dont' get me wrong. Taking care of a baby is physically exhausting but it's also quite rewarding, and such a blast.

Steps of Faith

2006-05-02T13:25:00.000-07:00

Faith took her first steps! She stood up tentatively. With knees shaking, she reached out to me and took three tiny steps, her feet barely off the floor. It was magical! We shouted, we laughed, we hugged her, and coached her to do it again. So she did.

Awesome. She's been so timid and cautious about walking, even if I held her hands. And if I let go of one hand, she would grab either my pants or slide down to sit. To see her take that first step, that first leap of faith so to speak, is just breathtaking.

Now all I hear from moms are how much my life is going to change with this. And hearing them I get feeling that I'm in for something bad. Of course my life will change (it already has been a wild ride!) but it's all good. I see this as a new sense of freedom for Faith, and "extreme" adventure for me. I'll be all over her as soon she'll be running and tripping and falling everywhere. She'll have her share of bruises too, and tears from both of us (and maybe from her dad!). But that's life. She'll be fearful, maybe even more clingy and anxious when she sees me move away from her. Well, this won't be the first time, or the last. I'll probably break my back and complain before this is over, but then again, getting old is irreversible! We'll have to corral her from places we don't want her to go, which is something we'll do more and more through the years till she matures to 25 years old.

I'm excited already and raring to ride this new adventure with her!
Oooh - I wonder where these steps of faith take us.

Sometimes, It's Not All About Faith

2006-04-22T14:27:00.000-07:00

To be a parent, whew, it's a huge responsibility and a big jump from taking care of two (me and husband). Someone who seems to depend so much on me - the instinct to totally care and give full undivided 24-hour attention, that nagging instinct is always there. It's also a lot of fun to be around my daughter and so all the more I am drawn toward being with her all the time.

However, in the business of living and raising up a child, often i forget that there is more to life than Faith. There is my husband too. It is easy to make him second place to a baby, because after all, he can take care of himself. There's also our marriage that constantly needs nurturing and attention. This too is easily put in the back seat. I also have my own "life" to live - space and time just for me and hobbies to soothe my creative itch. And then, there's the call that God has put in my heart to reach out and disciple other young women...

There really is a lot more to life than raising up a child. However does one handle so many responsibilities all at once?! It's no easy task to be a woman, wife, mom and minister. To keep myself sane among all these is just impossible at times. There really are moments when I just wish it's just about me, about Grace. No one else needing my attention. That for once, I can focus on Grace. How can I do this, I often ask myself as I try to sleep exhausted and spent. (And then God would whisper...) Grace. God's grace is more than sufficient for me for His power is made perfect in my weakness. Well.

So, yeah, oftentimes, it's not about faith. More than anything, it's really about grace. God's grace.

A balancing Act?

2006-03-30T14:01:00.000-08:00

Us women are known for our multi-tasking abilities. We’re able to be a wife, mother, career woman, homemaker, friend, mentor, church/civic member, and have a creative hobby on our spare time. We wake up early, feed the family (and pets), drive to work putting on our make-ups, work up the ladder to success, come home and cook dinner, make the chores and beautify the house, help with the kids’ homeworks, play with the baby, cozy up to hubby, and sleep at 10 p.m. In all of these, we’re expected to be wearing make-up, high heels, a gorgeous smile and gracious spirit. All the time.

Well, maybe in the movies.

How does one do it in real life?

Balance is the key. Or so I thought.

Rachel Johnston of Focus on your child has a better, wiser insight. Forget balance. PRIORITIZE.

In this article she says that the priority list starts with relationships, the foremost of which is God’s. Guard our time with Him ruthlessly. In His presence we find refreshing and direction. We need to submit and yield our schedules and ask the Lord what He wants accomplished for the day. When we have done as He asks, then there is no need to stress over other unfinished business. Perhaps at the end of each day we can even say “it is finished” and sleep well.

Growing up

2006-03-22T13:30:00.000-08:00

I can't believe Faith is one year old! Has time really flew that quickly? She's grown from some tiny being who can't even open her eyes or hold her head up, to a spunky toddler who's not afraid to climb stairs... Even though she can't walk by herself yet, she's learned to fly up AND down our 15-step stairway. It drives her daddy crazy but she's just determined. She's eating by herself too and knows how to entertain herself with her toys. Sometimes she turns her back to us when we try to play with her, and I feel like "are we intruding?!"

So I wonder if she's growing up too fast. I hear parents of tweens tell me how "grown up" their middle schooler is, and I get scared for my child! Will she know her alphabet and count to a 100 by four? Will she correct my grammar by six? Will she also learn to put on make-up and wear high heels by ten? How soon will she have a boyfriend?! YIKES!

So I hold on to my baby tighter. I keep reminding her (and me) that she's just a baby. She's my baby. She'll always be my baby.

And I hold her tighter still.

Updates on allergies

2006-03-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

It was a sad day for me. Before this I thought maybe the tests were wrong. Now, it's confirmed. Faith is allergic to milk, eggs and peanuts, the allergist said, and maybe to wheat as well. We now have to be extremely careful about what we feed her and let her touch. She also has eczema which seems to flare up when she touches these food.

I started reading books to help us (more me, really) manage. I'm told now to read every label, and read the labels everytime I buy anything... Memorize all the "names" that these allergens may hide. Who knew that chicken broth or soysauce has wheat?!

It can get overwhelming. But I know we can cope. Moms of other allergic kids before me have. Their kids turn up fine. If I get paranoid, or feel like my baby will have a "limited" life, she will. The last thing I want her to feel is that she doesn't have a normal life. So i turn on my coping skills, educate myself and others who take care of my child and hope for the best. Someday, she'll outgrow this. And if not, I hear there's an awful lot of good food that don't have milk, eggs or peanuts... I guess this is a good way to practice my cooking skills too.

the baby and her cherios

2006-02-27T14:43:00.000-08:00

Our daughter devours Cherios like a hungry lion. She doesn't peck at tiny donuts one at a time, no. She scoops her two hands into the bowl, and opens her mouth real wide and crams everything in at once. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, morning snack, evening snack. She once ate two full serving sizes I thought that would be the last of it.

I can't complain. For an 11-month old baby, she's on her way to a healthy heart.

Saga of Sleep, Week 1

2006-01-26T13:00:00.000-08:00

Unbelievable. It's been 10 days since we started to let Faith sleep on her own, and we've had success everyday!
The first week was the hardest, because she cried for more than an hour each night, and when she woke up at night, she would cry again. It was the most stressful week ever and thought I would give up. But telling myself 'this is for her own good'.. that got me through each crying spell.
Now finally after 10 days, she sleeps at 6:30 p.m. and wakes up twelve hours after!
She actually napped well too and would often get more than four hours of naptime. That by itself was a big beautiful bonus. I could only get her to nap two hours a day prior to this. Of course, having a rigid schedule of wake, sleep, eat and play was the key --
Once awake at 6:30 a.m., I would get her and open her bedroom lights so she'd get that "morning light" effect. She'll have 4 oz. of milk, and then we'd play a little in our bedroom and watch Daddy get ready for work. At 7:30 a.m., I would give her breakfast and then soothe her to sleep with another 4 oz. of milk. She would nap for more than an hour and wake up around 10:30 a.m. That gives me time for myself (yehey! never used to have this too).
By 11:30 a.m,, she'll be eating lunch with us and at 12:30p.m. I'll soothe her to sleep again for an hour or two of nap. She's learned to ask for milk too, so when she wakes up in the afternoon, she'll say "de-de-de-de-" as a hunger cue.
5:30 p.m. is dinnertime, followed by a bath and then off to sleep she goes for the night.

Saga of sleep, Day Three

2006-01-18T12:12:00.000-08:00

It is now 7 in the morning of the next day. For the first time, I SLEPT straight through the night. I opened Faith's room and there she was, sitting in her crib, awake. She wasn't crying. Hopefully, she too had slept through the night.

Saga of sleep, Day Two

2006-01-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

This is a new day. Today, we are sticking to our goals. Today, we teach Faith to sleep unassisted. But some changes need to be made. I am letting her sleep in our bed so I can get her to nap and put some deposits into her sleep bank.

So, I woke her up at 7 a.m., turned on all the lights and simulated morning sunshine. I had her fed and changed by 8:30 a.m. and watched for signs of drowsiness. Ten minutes later, I started to soothe her; I gave her warm milk (from the bottle) and rocked her until she was sleepy. Like yesterday, I placed her in the crib (I was still hoping!) and as before, she cried. I only left her for 30 minutes this time. She was wide awake when I got her. Wide awake and all wired. I had to get her to nap! SO, once again, she napped in our bed. This time, she fell asleep for two hours! Ching... sleep deposit made...

Afternoon. I decided to just let her nap in bed. She fell asleep on her own, without having to breastfeed. Yehey! Victory... She slept for one hour, woke up briefly, and slept again for another two hours. I ended up sleeping with her, so ka-ching, small sleep deposits for both of us.

It's now 6:30 p.m.. Faith had been fed, massaged and in her pjs. It's now time to put her to sleep. I gave her the bottle, hubby turned on her lullaby, and we prayed for her. She's now sleepy and ready for the crib. We closed the room and waited. Of course she cried! And she was at it for two hours - whimper, cry, scream, wail, sob,scream, whine. I can hear her cry "boo-boo-boo", something she says when she's not feeling well. Good thing she can't say "mommy" or "daddy" yet, otherwise it would have been too much. Finally, she was quiet by 9 p.m., and only the occasional protest until 11 p.m. Hubby reminds me not to breakdown, and I do all I can to have a heart of steel. I purposely didn't put the monitor in our room so that I won't hear her sobs, but we opened our door so we'll wake up in case she screams.

We all sleep.

Saga of Sleep, Day One

2006-01-16T23:29:00.000-08:00

Today, we train Faith to sleep unassisted.
She woke up at 7 a.m. and I had her soothe to sleep by 8:30. I placed her in her crib, almost asleep. Her back arched the moment it touched the bed. She jumped up and cried. I closed the door and left her for one hour. She cried the whole time. She's definitely NOT temperamentally easy, at least not in the sleep category.
I tried again that afternoon at 12 noon. The same thing happened. She cried, whimpered, played in the crib crying, but couldn't get to sleep. Her eyes were dark and puffy and I know she's very tired now, so I had to put her back in bed with me and let her nap. Maybe I should get her to sleeping well first before I can transfer her to sleeping alone.
So tonight, we prepared her for bed at around 7 p.m., and got her to sleep. In bed with us. Tomorrow is another day. Needless to say, we were still waking up every hour or two as Faith was... Nobody said this was going to be quick, or easy. But we're not giving up. She will learn to sleep. That was our prayer as hubby and I drifted off and on to sleep...

Sleep Training; the resource

2006-01-16T22:33:00.000-08:00

We started on the adventure of Sleeping Through the Night.
I'm using the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby" and I've become convinced that this is the way to have Faith sleep through the night. There may be other, less abrupt methods of sleep training, but the book makes sense. I am going to adjust it accordingly, though, because in spite of it all, I am the mom and I know what's best for my baby... On to the book -
The author is Dr. Marc Weissbluth, a pediatrician who founded the Sleep Disorders Center at the Children's Memorial Hospital in Chicago. Impressive resume.
The author teaches more than just getting the child to sleep through the night. It also teaches about age-appropriate naps and how napping contributes to better sleep in infants, toddlers, school-age children and teenagers. The first chapters of the book talk about the importance of sleep in infants and children, and how sleep deprivation and "low-level chronic sleepiness" in infants can lead to emotional or psychological problems, learning difficulties, and even obesity later in life.
Better sleep is a product of sufficient naps, consolidated sleep (sleep through the night; nap for more than one hour), regular and consistent schedule of waking up, wakefulness,and sleep, and sleeping early. The author prescribes the following -(from 4-12 months) to wake the baby up at 6-7 in the morning. Take a 1-2 hour nap between 9-10 a.m. (or one to two hours after waking, depending on how sleep deprived the baby was). Take a 1-2hour nap around 12-2 in the afternoon (or 3 hours after waking from the first nap). Take a late afternoon around 4 p.m. but not let the baby sleep more than one hour and not after 5 p.m. (around 9 months, this last nap starts to disappear). Start the bedtime routine at 5-6 in the evening and put the baby down (or lie with the baby) sleepy but awake, around 7 p.m. Emphasis is definitely given for a consistent, regular schedule of sleep. In each sleep, have 10-30 minutes of soothing down the baby to a point of drowsy calmness, but put the baby down in bed or crib awake.

Crying to Sleep? When a baby's temperament is easy, there may be no crying when sleep starts. For temperamentally difficult or post-colic babies, there may be some crying involved. The author says there are several ways to put the baby down - either lie with your child until sleep happens (Method A), or put the baby in the crib (method B). For those of us who've used method A and want to transition to B, there may be some crying involved. Should we decide to use method B, we can leave and let the baby learn to sleep alone unassisted, until either the nap is over (about one hour) or the next morning. This is the cold-turkey approach or the extinction method. There is a gradual extinction as well, similar to what Ferber says. However, the author points out that with the gradual methods, there is a longer training period and hence a greater potential for the parent to be inconsistent because of changes in daily routines and schedules, or give up because it's taking too long for change to happen. In the end, he says the extinction method is the most effective, fastest way to train a child to sleep... That there may be a lot of crying is the most difficult part of it on the parents. Dr. Marc Weissbluth says we're not making the baby cry. Instead we are training the baby to sleep; crying is a way for the baby to protest. He reminds parents that this is not the first or last time we're letting our baby cry. There are many times in the future where we'll have to be tough on our children for their own good, cry though they will... In this, I realized, sleep training my children is also training me to have tougher stubborn love for them.

So, here's to my own saga of training Faith to sleep.

Sleep Training

2006-01-16T21:21:00.000-08:00

This week we start training Faith to sleep unassisted. She's ten months old now and still isn't sleeping through the night. Part to blame is her ezcema and dry skin, which seem to bother her the most at night. Also to 'blame' is her co-sleeping with us. (and I say, blame loosely because I hate to admit that we caused her this problem in the first place...) She's gotten so used to our scent and nursing to sleep that she won't sleep anywhere else, not even in her own crib for naps. In retrospect hubby and I don't regret having her co-sleep with us. We love it, even now. As first time parents, the novelty of having a baby, of looking into her beautiful angelic face, her breathing seemingly in rhythm with ours... that's something we will always cherish.
But now, it is time to move on. We are ready to let go (just a tiny bit!) and let her sleep in her own crib, in her own room.
The training to sleep, though, is the difficult part.

Here's what we plan to do - (aka goals) -
1. teach her to sleep unassisted. She hasn't learned to sleep on her own, and always used to need either me nursing her, or dadddy patting her to sleep. She also hasn't learned to fall back to sleep on her own. UNASSISTED. There's no other way to teach her this but let her be. No assisting from us. No more breastfeeding till she's zonked out, no more patting.

2. teach her to consolidate her sleep, that is, to sleep through the night (which means having the ability to fall back to sleep should she wake up)

3. nap sufficiently. at ten months to one year she should still be napping twice a day (morning and afternoon) for 2-4 hours a day. She's been waking up after only 45 minutes and because she can't go back to sleep, she's overtired.

Let the training begin.

Dealing with Allergies

2006-01-06T14:39:00.000-08:00

It was a sad day when the doctor called to tell us Faith really does have allergies to milk. And eggs, peanuts, wheat and soy. What else can the poor girl eat?! I guess the key is home-made baby food. Thankfully, this website is a great resource of recipe and menu for baby food. It even has a section for dealing with allergies in infants and children.

Unfortunately, for me, I'm still breastfeeding. I too have to cut back on allergens that I could pass on to my baby. OW! For the love of food! How will a chocoholic, ice-cream loving person like me cope?! Now I know first hand what it feels like to "abstain".. maybe that will make me more compassionate (and self-controlled).
BUT -
... The day will come someday when I can have my java-chip frapuccino...

Stress-free Holiday break

2005-11-28T21:15:00.000-08:00

I did get a break.
We went to New York to share thanksgiving with our ever faithful, high school friend and her family. It was exactly what I needed, something different, something new. Faith enjoyed being with other kids her age (or a year older). No, we didn't go to the Macy's parade, we didn't see Manhattan or the fancy places of New York. Nope. We did something more memorable and less stressful - we chatted, ate good home-cooked Chinese food, and visited other friends in the area. Oh, we did the black Friday shopping (which I had previously thought is a stress!) but we went there on the afternoon and boy, the malls weren't bad at all.
It was nice, to be away from routine... nothing beats being with family and friends.

Give me a Kit-Kat

2005-11-23T07:41:00.000-08:00

I need a break!
I've been holed up in my house for a week now, and my usually happy baby has a cold, which makes her (and mommy) very upset..
I need to just get away for a while and de-stress. Take care of me... Go to a warm nice South Pacific beach and listen to tranquil waves lapping at my feet... eat dark chocolate and java frapuccino... have a deep Swedish massage, or a spa for my neglected body... maybe even a pampered pedicure...

ok, sister... wake up!
oh well, it was fun to daydream.
maybe i'll just have a kitkat.

dealing with faith

2005-11-21T07:32:00.000-08:00

On other days, it's tough to be a SAHM!
There are just times when I don't know what do, like days when Faith has colds and get cranky. I can hardly get her to finish two teaspoonfuls of cereal. She takes only 30-minute naps and wakes up crying. She always want to get picked up and I can never get enough chores done. At night, her nose gets so stuffy that I hae to hold her in my arms so she can sleep upright, which means I don't get to sleep well either. None of us right now are sleeping well. Days like these, it's a tiring job. She goes to the sitter for two days, and she tells me my baby eats a lot and drinks her formula! Why is that? I get jealous and feel like I'm not being attentive enough (but I know I am!) So why is that? I have no clue, really. So I just hang on for dear life (hers and mine) and hope she gets well and days like these will be over.

playing with faith

2005-11-16T11:51:00.000-08:00

It's so much fun being a SAHM!
I get to play with my daughter everyday. We "wrestle" each other in bed when we wake up (now that she's standing ??- she climbs all over my body). We trade blowing bubbles at each other, do peek-a-boos, make smiles and funny faces at the mirror. I found her funny bone(s - she's so ticklish!) and get her to laugh. She's learning to fake her grin too, which is the funniest in the world!
She's almost 8 months and a handful to be with, super"likot"! One woman at the doctor's said my baby's like a worm, a cute and beautiful worm... I'm at the keyboard right now, and she's playing along with me, messing my sentences, deleting phrases i just wrote...
Right now, I'm her playmate and best friend. And I wish we stay that way for a long long time.

Managing allergies

2005-11-09T10:50:00.000-08:00

It sneaked up on us, this allergy. I gave Faith a bottle of formula this weekend and she took only 2 ounces when her face redened and her lips swelled! She vomitted out the milk twice and the portion of it that touched her skin caused rashes to appear.
When I went to the pediatrician, we were told to carefully watch her diet (and mine as I still breastfeed her). We were prescribed an "epipen" syringe in case she'll have difficulty breathing because of allergic reactions. She can't have any milk or dairy products until further tests, or when she outgrows this. She can't even touch dairy because she might get rashes or even worse reactions!

My family has a history to allergies, but I never thought my own child would have a reaction this young. It was very disheartening to think that I passed a gene or susceptibility to my child that potentially could make her so sick. How's a mom to feel?
... My sister's encouragement - "we manage".
And we will. We'll have to educate her babysitter and our friends who interact with her. We'll have to be careful. We'll have to be prepared, exactly how I don't know yet. But we'll manage.
And we can pray. And we will pray, that she will outgrow this. Even be healed and purged of this allergy.
She'll have her blood tested next month for specific allergens to milk and other foods. So I have a month to pray hard. In the meantime, we'll manage.

healthy sleep habits, happy baby

2005-11-01T13:48:00.000-08:00

WOW! After seven months of sleeping-less nights, there really seems to be a light at the end of a tunnel. (It does feel like a tunnel at times, literally when I lack sleep. My vision gets blurry and my mind blanks out!)

But now, I can feel and live HOPE. I found this book "Healthy sleep habbits, happy baby" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth whose resume include being a pediatrician in-charge of the Sleep Disorders Clinic in the Children's Hospital in Chicago, and a father of four.
Sleep begets sleep. He encourages parents to put the baby down for a nap (or naps depending on the age. For Faith at seven months, it's 2-3 naps per day); getting baby on a regular and consistent sleep schedule (an earlier bedtime being better for baby's wellbeing and producing longer sleep); and consolidating sleep (no waking up at night; no catnaps if possible). He says be on the watch for sings of sleepiness and tiredness ), which is a window, that if taken, makes sleep faster and easier (less crying). Once a baby starts crying or fussing, then she is overtired and past that window, which may make sleeping harder and shorter.
It all makes sense now. I've put Faith down for naps and she takes to it so easily! She's on a regular sleep schedule that i protect so that she doesn't end up tired and cranky the next day.
More on this saga as we get Faith to sleeping well.

like a Mona Lisa

2005-11-01T13:27:00.000-08:00

Today, I'm sitting somewhere, trying to last till the end of work day, when I look up from my desk to see a picture of my baby smiling at me. It's like that Mona Lisa smile - you just know she saw someone or something that made her smile like that, and though frozen in a painting, it reaches out to you and draws you in to smile back at her. That's how my baby's picture looked to me just now.

I smile back. And I am with her, playing, making her laugh, giving her kisses, spending the day with her...

It won't be long now, in less than an hour. I will be home.
I smile back.

ang buhay may baby

2005-09-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

Nakakapang-gigil na nga naman si Faith ngayon. Ang dami na niyang kayang
gawin at marunong na ring magpa-cute.

Aadalas nang ngumiti at tumawa at kung hindi siya talaga natatawa,
pinipilit na niyang gumawa ng laughing sounds para lang matuwa kami.
Marunong na ring sumigaw at mainis at magalit, lalo na kung antok na at
hindi pa niya magawang matulog. Naku, paikot ikot sa kama, naiinis,
umiiyak, pumapadyak pa!
Pero love na love niyang matulog at sumiksik sa kilikili namin. one night,
walang pang five seconds pagka-siksik sa kilikili ko, nakatulog na agad.
Naisip ko nga baka nahilo pero hindi naman ako mabantot hahahha,...
Pag nakikita si daddy niya, kumakawag at kumikisi-kisi pa sa tuwa. Sobrang
makangiti. Pag ako naman ang nakitang galing work at hawak ng daddy,
nagpapa-awa ang tingin at sabay ang iyak. Alam na talaga niya ang
"function" namin sa buhay niya ano.

how to put a baby to sleep

2005-09-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

Why is it so hard to teach a baby to sleep?!
In her own crib, that is.
I've been trying my best at this for the past three weeks and we often "fought" at bedtime. She's so used to being in bed with us AND falling asleep while nursing, that it was so hard on her to sleep in her crib, even though it was really just an arms' length from our bed.
I actually had to pray over her many times to fall asleep and learn to stay and go back to sleep... (funny how being a mom has taught me so much about asking for wisdom and praying for even the smallest details... i realize i just can't do this parenting well apart from the Holy Spirit's counsel! even for mundane things like how to put a baby to sleep)

After two weeks of "wrestling" i'm almost ready to give up. I've let her cry it out (and boy, can she hold her own for an hour!). I've put her down when supposedly she's so sleepy and should just doze off (nope, she wakes up again!). I've patted her backside and massaged her back. We have a bedtime routine going. Nothing seems to be working to make her learn to just close her eyes, and sleep!

So, for two nights now, I've let her co-sleep. Amazing how the instant she was put to our bed, she only needed to snuggle against me, and she was in dream land. No fussing, crying, screaming. She just dozes off... And my mommy heart melts at how secure and at peace she is being with me.

So what's a mom to do? Co-sleeping wins hands down.
Well, here's to a continuing saga of putting Faith to sleep on her own.

i see a dear baby

2005-09-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

Come my baby
to the window with me
and look at the stars
that shine on the sea
i see two little stars
that play at bo-peep
with two little fish
far down in the deep
and two little forgs
cry "neap, neap,neap!"
I see a dear baby
that should be asleep.

-Mother Goose

why a family bed?

2005-08-30T23:58:00.000-07:00

1. ease of breastfeeding! a definite plus when she wakes up in the middle of the night
2. Cuddles in the early morning. We find her snuggled in our arms, soundly asleep.
3. three little pigs in a blanket.
4. good use for a huge king size bed.
5. baby smells on the sheets.
6. sense of security.
7. waking up to see her smiling at us.
8. seeing Dad and baby fall asleep at the same time

Someday, she'll have to sleep in her own crib, and maybe in her own room. When that day comes, we'll reclaim our bed space again. We'll probably sleep more soundly too. I'll be done with latenight feeding.
But until that day, we treasure every minute co-sleeping with her.

five and about

2005-08-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

Faith is five! i mean five months. She cut her first tooth two days later, and then a a few more days and the other tooth came out.

more active, more distinct personality, more interest in the world around her.

she loves playing "upsy-daisy". and goes straight to standing rather than being pulled to sitting.

smiles at everyone! stranger anxiety sets in when others hold her. so now, she's clingy to her mom and dad.

milestones at 4

2005-08-10T01:12:00.000-07:00

As if on cue, Faith flipped from back to tummy on her fourth-month birthday!
A few nights after, we found her sleeping with her hiney up in the air. It was so amusing! She slept 4 hours straight that night too. A first!... I think I can see an end to sleepless nights...

That's her now with her arms propped, looking around (instead of up at the ceiling. That view must have bored her!)

And she's laughing and squealing, and giggling at "peek-a-boo". But then, too, she's gotten picky with people she wants to hold her and would give us a "get-me-out-of-these-arms" whimper.

Her rashes have all but disappeared although we still have to slather her every night with lotion and creams. Unfortunately, she's learned how to scratch herself, so back to mittens for her at night.

She's learned to thumbsuck (not a good idea, definitely) but we'll let her comfort herself and deal with that later on... maybe she's teething too...

of talents and toys, part 2

2005-08-10T00:47:00.000-07:00

Now that Faith is here, i am once again bombarded by ads and products that will give her an edge over her peers. Developmental toys of all sorts abound in the market - mobiles, bouncers, learning seats, swings, gymini, see-through blocks, soft books, baby genius CDs and videos - all geared to developing her mind, coordination, motor and social skills. I have nothing against these learning aids and if hubby can provide, why not? In fact, I have several of them that Faith prefers. In the beginning, I got toy crazy I guess, and became too hung up on "milestones" that she needs to be showing at different phases of her growth. Until I realize that, hey, in the third world where I came from, I didn't have any of these "luxuries" and still I turned out great. So, by God's grace, our daughter will too.

of talents and toys

2005-08-10T00:11:00.000-07:00

When i was pregnant with Faith, I heard all sorts of advice on giving my daughter a headstart in life. Eat food that develops her brain like peanuts and bananas. Or, place a headphone on my belly and have her listen to music of all types so she'll have appreciation for and understanding of music. Or, read literature and scientific books and solve math/logic puzzles so she'll become a genius!
I was so into these advices until I realized that her talents are given by her Creator. Sure, i can later enrol her in various activities to develop these. But best thing I can do while pregnant was to PRAY that God will provide what talents and gifts she needs to meet her purpose in life. And that as her parents, our role was to ask for wisdom so we can guide her in finding her own path.

That made the pregnancy (and a future I can't yet see) so much less stressful.

reminisce

2005-08-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

The first three months are now but a blur of memories. Often I find myself hanging on to the moments, the smell and the emotions in my mind. I can only remember vaguely giving birth and staying at the hospital. If not for the video we took, I wouldn't recall details, feelings.
I remember my mom coming a day before, and telling me I still have a few more weeks maybe since my belly looked high. I remember the morning of, and the amazingly painless contractions, the surprising news of delivering by CS...
The days at home... being confined to the bedroom because of the stitches. The non-stop feeding, the sleepless nights. Feeling so inadequate, not knowing how to make my baby stop crying. Perhaps because of fatigue, although I loved her at first sight, I felt no overwhelming emotion for this tiny infant in my arms. Rather, I was in a survival mode, thinking "this too will pass. take one day at a time". And yet as the weeks went by, the bonding deepened and a different kind of love surfaced - I am a mom now. I am her mom.

I remember getting the chills and fever, and my husband keeping my body warm. My mom cooking three meals a day, keeping house for us until I could help, all the while training some people for evangelism... I was always hungry, and would sneak a midnight snack every night, eating three bowls of ice cream and not feeling guilty at all (one of the joys of breasfeeding - fats and carbs don't stick around).
I remember thinking how tough it was to breastfeed 24/7 and wanting to give up and give the bottle. But when we did, I could picture her face- surprised, disgusted, unfamiliar with the taste of new milk. How she would drink from the bottle only until her hunger pangs went away and yet, still wanting more au natural.
I remember her eyes developing and suddenly she could see, and be fascinated by our faces, or the mobile in her crib, or the view outside her window.
I remember her cries of hunger, of pain, of boredom, and how we would run to her at her beckoning.
She had a talent for arching her eyebrows just like Daddy.
...Her first smile. The books say it's not a true smile but simply her getting gas and "burping", but who cares. The smile is there for us to enjoy. I do recall how loud she burps, and the thousand diaper changes!
I can still smell her scent - baby wash, spit-out milk and baby poop all together...
Suddenly, she could grasp at things and would hug us back...
The cute baby dresses and onesies and tiny booties. The gifts and well wishes that came from friends and families. Her dedication party and having our friends and family bless her. Her GM and GP taking over when my mom left.

Now that the first three months are over, the initial struggle of motherhood is now just a thought in the recesses of my heart. So many more wonderful memories linger on. How i long to capture them in a bottle and to shake them out one at a time - taking in once more the sight and sounds and smells.

dedication

2005-08-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

June 4, 2005.
Why We Dedicate our Children

There is a pattern in the Holy Bible where children were presented to God in the temple. Acknowledging God as the giver of life, we offer back our children to Him with the sincerest intentions to raise them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

In the Old Testament in 1 Samuel 1:22,26-28, is an account about Hannah who presented her son, Samuel, to the Lord. The boy later became a prophet of God.

Even our Lord Jesus Christ was also presented at the temple in Jerusalem: When the time of their purification according to the Law of Moses had been completed, Joseph and Mary took Jesus to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (Luke 2:21-22).

Jesus’ baptism in water at the river Jordan occurred when He was a grown man of 30 years old. And He pleased God the Father. We can find that in Matthew 3:13-17. God is always pleased with obedience to His Word.

It is a blessing to see that God is raising up families that seek and serve Him to be a blessing to other families in America and the nations of the world.

This piece was created by our pastor's wife MU.

in her dad's embrace

2005-07-29T22:20:00.000-07:00

She's definitely daddy's little girl.

Even in the womb, she would move about when her daddy prayed over her. It's as if she instinctively knows this voice who calls to her.

When we first saw her ultrasound, we debated who she looked like. But even with the profile, there was no doubt she took after Daddy. They say all babies first look like the faither when they're born. But even now, our friends and families would look at both and tell us - same nose, same head, same fingers and toes.

The minute she was born, he was there to behold her, almost fainting with joy and the overwhelming thought that this is his daughter in his arms.
She sleeps best and longest when laid on his chest, his heartbeat in rhythm with hers.
He could make her laugh and giggle and smile.
Her first primitive consonants are "d-d" for "daddy" perhaps?
Right now, she's dependent on Mommy for food and she turns to Mommy when she cries. A mother's love is always there. But the love of a Father ...

This is the man who would take care of her and protect her, even when someday another man will come along to share her heart. For now and definitely for a long time yet, he's the one to provide for her needs. Have the shoulder to cry on when she hurts her knee or her heart. Teach her how to ride a bike. Bring her to the dances, and chaperone her to these dates. Carry her on his shoulders so she can see the rest of the world. He would die for her and stop anyone who wants to hurt her.
We tell ourselves we won't spoil her, and we try our best not to. But she will always have her daddy's heart.

beginnings

2005-07-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

Having Faith is the most wonderful blessing we could ever have. She was born only four months ago but our lives have never been the same since.

Born two weeks early as a breech baby, and only 6 lbs 3 oz, she had jaundice early and had to be under the bili lights for four days. That was tough on Mommy and Daddy, seeing her so tiny and fragile. We stayed in the hospital for five days and even thought we had to leave her there until her bilirubin stabilized. After much prayer, we finally got to bring her home. Our little Faith and our little faith have been growing ever since.